1. He felt pressured and inadequate
you constantly chasing him? Did you want more love, affection, or s*x
than what he was doling out? Did you feel like you were frequently
trying to “fix” things in the relationship? If you can identify with any
of these, there was definitely an imbalance in your relationship, and
more than likely he felt pressured and inadequate in your presence. And
it’s important that you know … that’s not at all your fault.
men run from emotional pressure like they’re running for their lives
(because, in their minds, they are running for their lives). Emotional
pressure challenges the underdeveloped part of a man’s masculinity and
makes him feel ill-equipped to deal. In his mind, he feels like anything
he does isn’t (and never will be) good enough for you. This causes men
to naturally shut down and lock their hearts up like Fort Knox, rather
than deal with any more feelings of pressure or inadequacy.
2. Your relationship felt competitive
a man has to compete with a woman for control of the relationship, he
not only feels inadequate, but also like there’s no place for his
masculinity in his woman’s life. Keep this in mind: it’s very important.
This isn’t to say that a man should control the entire relationship,
that’s unfair to both parties. Rather, a successful relationship has
complementary forces where each person relinquishes control in certain
areas. If this doesn’t happen, both parties end up in competition — both
compete to win and, in the end, the relationship loses. This dynamic
shows up in scenarios like these:
In a social context with
friends! Did the two of you get in arguments about who was “right” in
front of friends?Financially, who is the breadwinner? Did you make more
money than him? And more importantly, was it ever brought up in a way
that emasculated him?Relationally, did you constantly make the decisions
in the relationship? Where to eat, what fun things to do, or what
movies to attend?
If he felt like you were against him instead of
for him, he never felt fully capable of opening his heart because he
was afraid of losing the “game” and getting hurt.
3. He didn’t feel respected
man can’t build a life with a woman who doesn’t respect him. He has to
feel that his partner has his back above and beyond anyone else — he
must know that in his weakest moment, she will shower him with
acceptance. Because, you see, here is the hidden truth about your value:
you are the key to his greatness. In order for him to unlock all that
he has within him, including his tenderness and willingness to commit,
he needs a deep and underlying foundation of respect. With a high
caliber woman by his side he can take greater risks in life and actually
experience more freedom than ever possible by himself.
that you know the reasons why he left, how do you start to get him back?
It’s time to reflect and begin to take immediate action to rectify the
situation if you still truly love him. Once you know how to breakthrough
his defenses and touch the deepest part of his heart, he’ll feel an
overwhelming calm and trust that you truly get him.